I woke up one day and i was 1 day late for my periods, something that has never ever happened in my life. The last time it happened i became a mom 9months later. It was happening again after such a long time boy was i excited. I had gone years without using any kind of contraceptive. I was finally pregnant,boy was i excited?i waited two weeks and i bought pregnancy test. I must have prayed a million times to get two lines.
It took me 5 prayers to do the tests and probably 50 prayers to check the lines. I cried when i saw those two lines, i have never in my life thanked God that much. I became the happiest I've ever been, i somehow became super energetic and my heart was full.
I was about to bring a new life and that alone birthed a new me. I felt brand new, something new was birthed, life had more meaning and i was ready to take on the world. Oh did i mention that i carried my positive pregnancy test everywhere? Lol it felt like i was carrying my baby in my pocket and on days that i had a handbag I'd safely put it there. I was inlove with a my pregnancy test stick.
I woke up one day and i had a normal day. All was well and i remember there was no water in the yard and i had to fetch water and i was happy to do so. Must have carried 20 buckets that day and i was still full of energy. I could have carried more only if i hadn't filled everything that needed filling.
I went to the Doctor at nine weeks just so i can do blood works and get vitamins for my baby, not to start prenatal care because i thought it was too soon. The blood works was to make sure all is well and yes everything was fine so i had planned to start with prenatal checkups when i was atleast 20 weeks. I was 16Weeka6days.
Back to the day i was batista and carried endless buckets,I ate, took a bath and went straight to bed after carrying many buckets,something my body never allowed me to do. I used to sleep a lot, sleep came easy and a none pregnant me would take forever to fall asleep but that pregnancy was dealing me sleep. I frequented the loo because i had a lot of pee to pass. That night i noticed that i was wiping blood on each urine go. I didn't think much of it but i was like I'll visit the Doctor the next day if it continues.
I fell asleep and woke up around midnight to the most crucial abdominal pain. Right there i knew something was wrong. I couldn't stand, walk nor do anything. The pain paralysed me for like an hour and then it went away like nothing happened. I then realised that since the pain stopped i was now bleeding a lot. I prayed till the morning that my baby is fine, i eventually cried myself to sleep.
The morning finally came and i rushed to the Doctor, but a part of me already knew what i might be told and another part of me was filled with fear and didn't want to hear news that could break me . The Doctor confirmed it, i can still hear his voice to this day when he said you lost your babies"
At that point i didn't even know that i was carrying twins, i now wanted to cry but i just couldn't,i was numb. The Doctor inserted a pill inside me and said if the bl**ding continues then i need to do a D&C(Dilation and Curretage)the next day. I went back home and slept,still numb. I wanted everything to be a dream. The bl**ding got heavier and heavier , so i went back the next day for D&C. The pain i felt during that 10 minutes process brought me to tears.
The pain went straight to the heart and i cried all night. I cried my self to sleep every night for a month until i learned to live with the pain. I still continued counting down weeks to my 40 week journey and now i still count how old my babies would've been. I don't think one fully heals from the trauma of a miscarriage, we just learn to accept and take the pain with a glass of acceptance. May every womb that experience such a loss be fertile again.
Social Plugin