Knife curse

My dad's second wife has cast a spell on me.

I've been arrested twice already and I am tired of that life. Mamazala my whole life I've been finding knives super attractive especially if it's used on a human being not bread. 

I've stabbed all my ex boyfriend's luckily I've never killed any of them. Others never laid charge, others dropped the charges but two got fed up and let me suffer behind the bars.

Mamazala everytime I find love, I get this strong urge of wanting to stab my partner. One little argument and I use the knife. My dad married a second wife some years back and she has never liked me. 

I think she hated how close I was with my dad and she also saw my mom as a competitor instead of a sister wife. My mom is a quiet person and I've never witnessed her and my dad arguing. 

On the other hand my step mom was a loud bossy woman. She hated it when things were not going her way and she never missed a chance of telling me how I and my mother thinks we are special but my day will come.

I never took her serious until one day when I was still at jail, there was an inmate who told me that if I don't seek help I am going to end up stabbing my own parents and one day I won't be lucky to be charged with attempted murder, I will be charged with multiple murders.

The lady is a seer. I grew up as a kind and loving child so this whole stabbing thing was shocking to everyone. I had lost everyone I loved due to my new weird behavior. It was like I am hungry for blood. Every ending had to have blood shed. 

I did not take the woman's advice lightly. I followed up on it and seeked help. I was told the same thing and I was told that the muti that is possessing me is buried inside a closed bucket in the yard. The bucket is buried.

I was told that the day I find and dig it out, will be the first step to setting my soul free because my soul was also tied in there and the person who did this will fall very sick and die within a couple of days because she tied the spell to her death. But I'd still need to seek help to get the spell removed.

I continued the journey of seeking help and eventually found someone who came in the yard and searched for the buried bucket until it was found. 

In the bucket we found a handmade doll that was covered on the face with my hand made bikini bottom. I had been looking for the bikini bottom for many years, it was my favorite because it was made for me by my late grandmother. The doll was also wrapped with a photo of me and a knife, a red and white solo tape was used. 

The bucket looked pretty old so this shows that it is an old spell. The traditional, Doctor then told me that the red solo tape on the knife symbolises blood shedding and the doll is me hence a part of my underwear was used.

I felt numb and weak at the same time, my mom couldn't stop crying because we were told that this is just the beginning, plenty more still has to be done until I can be set free. Just like the first traditional Doctor this one too said sadly he can't go further with me. I must find someone else to cleanse me.

My stepmother fell very ill two days after we removed the bucket and she died a week later. I don't want to believe that she is the one that did this to me, but I can't ignore the possibilities. 

I am here to seek help so that I can get someone who will perform the last step of removing the curse, which is cleansing me. I longer feel the urge to stab anyone nor do u find knives attractive. But I am told to still cleanse so that I can be forgiven and start my life on clean slate. 

Please help.