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My ex wife killed all my children

 How do you forgive someone who ended the lives of innocent souls LPGA teens already so it was rather too late to initiate a bond between them. 

My wife was unemployed, she would wait for me to go to work then she would go drink at the local tarven. She had a habit of spending our money on playing cards. On many months we would be broke because she chose gambling and drinking. 

When she was pregnant with our second baby I lost my job. That is when I understood what the elders meant when they said a street woman should be kept at the street, she can never build a home.

I loved her too much to listen to anyone. She would go drinking heavily pregnant and come home in the wee hours. She was no longer seeing me as the man of the house. I was doing every chore without her.

She finaly gave birth, and by God's grace it was a healthy baby girl. When the baby was just three weeks my wife left. I went to the police station to report her missing. I didn't think she'd leave a three week old baby for over a week. 

The police found her living with an old man who was a taxi driver. Atleast he was employed he told me when I went to find her there. I begged her to come home and she refused. Told me I am useless man who can't afford her. I tried mentioning the children and she told me that I tried to trap her with babies. 

I was hurt and couldn't believe she was proving everyone right. I wasn't in good terms with my family because I cut them off for speaking bad about her. I had to go humble myself to my sisters and mother and ask for forgiveness so I can get help with raising my daughters.

They welcomed us back with open arms, fortunately. With my family helping with the girls, I was able to job hunt. It took months to find the job. I met someone along the way, she was working and she had no children.

She helped me with the girls so much, she loved them like her own. I got a job and later married the queen of my heart. She is a good woman and showed me how beautiful marriage is.

My ex wife was chucked out by the taxi drivers wife when she found out about her cheating husband. She came back to me, my three week old daughter was now 2 years. She fought my wife for weeks trying to get back in our lives. My wife wasn't much of a fighter so I had to step in.

My ex wife came to the house one day, humble and apologetic. She begged us to atleast come by to see the kids when she misses them and build a bond. My wife and I agreed, we saw nothing wrong with it.

She came a couple of times and played with the children for hours and they loved her. She then came to ask permission to take them to buy ice cream at the shops. We agreed because she seemed to have changed and was making effort. 

Little did I know that I will be seeing my babies for the last time. My ex wife took my kids and fed them poison. She then handed herself to the police. She first watched them die. 

She left a letter in the house that said "I can't keep giving birth to kids that later becomes another woman's kids".

Now her family is on my throat about helping her. They say she is sick now and asks to see me all the time. I will never visit that woman in jail. My wife blames herself for the death of the girls, she says if she never came into our lives then the woman wouldn't have lost it.

My wife recently had a miscarriage and the Doctor says it's because of stress. She now wants to leave me. I am broken💔. I brought a woman into my life and she turned my life upside down, I curse the day I met her.