My heart ripped out while I am alive

 I remember it very well💔💔😭😭. 

It was on the 29th september 2021 when i got a call from his aunt saying that the person whom loved n adores me so much is no longer with us 💔😭. At first i took it as a joke cause i spoke to him earlier that day  he said he'll be at my place(kasi) on the 30th . Guys another call coming through my from  his frnds telling me the same thing n some where crying so much, that's when something decided to hit my mind 🤞😞 I felt other half of my heart departing from my body n thats when i started believing that he's gone 🤞😭. I was in the kitchen by that time, i went so numb to the point that i burnt all the food n my mom just saw  a smoke coming from the house n she ran to the kitchen n found me so numb. Tears were flowing as water tab. Iast thing i remembered was me opening my eyes n found mysellf at hospital. 

I started screaming n crying my heart out but that wasn't enough untill the doctor comes n injects me n i went back to sleep again 😭😞. My mom went home to check my siblings then when she got there, one of his relatives came to inform my mom about his death n that's when my mom understood my situation n she rushed back to hospital to check up on me again. She found me awake but not reacting to anything  only tears was flowing from my eyes n queations in my mind.... Questions like"y now"? Y him"? Wat about our dreams 😞😭 by that time uhm few months preg n my mom didn't know untill the docter tells her that day 💔. 

I was so shattered, disappointed n hurt cause the guy promised to be with me till infinity 😭💔. He promised to do anything for our unborn bby n me,. He was the love of my life n he'll always be. 

Then i got discharged the nxt day still i don't react nor eat. I just bath then go back to my bed, my mom tried to console me but that didn't work at all😭💔. All was in my mind was "God why him"? Why now"? Wat am i going to tell our bby 💔😭. Days went by then the funeral day was approaching. 

💔😭On friday morning as my mom was preparing our bags to go to his place then i got a call from his fam saying they don't want me near their house they even did a protection order for me😭💔 like i couldn't believe that. It was like uhm in a dream land 💔😭. I ran to my room n locked myself up  , my mom called my dad to come n help to open the door since i was not opening 💔😭 . Bafethu i was drained n shartteted 😭💔. I ask God "y are u giving me such a big test" Y me 💔😭? 

Then my dad came n opened the door then they found me crying on my bed 😭💔. 

On the funeral day around 09:00 i started loosing my mind, running around my place with my pijamas crying trying to reach to his place but i couldn't. All i remember for that day is that i woke up in hospital sorrounded by doctors n my family n my dearest mom was crying her heart out. N all i ask was "where is he "? Did he come to see me " Only to find out that i was unconceouse for a week now n funeral was over by that time.

My mom just said "askies my baby you just lost both of them(reffering to the baby n baby daddy) i couldn't understand her then i started asking about my baby then thats when the doctor explained everything for me. For a moment i felt like my like was over 💔😭for the next i felt like someone could wake me up from this dream but it wasn't the dream. I was facing the reality 😭💔. 

Thats when i lost my true self 💔😭. 

29*09*2021 the day i will never ever forget n i'll never forget how brutally he was murdered 😭💔.

May ur presious soul find peace 😭💔 may u be my guadian angel n lead me to tge right path. I miss you😭 i miss all those love memories we've created together 😭. I miss ur smile n ur laughter 💔😭. No one has ever loved me the way u did🤞 . 6 yrs of our relationship will always be respected n  cherished 🤞😭.

By Mokgadi Molaontoa😭😢