I USED PICTURES OF PREGNANT LADIES ON MY FACEBOOK FOR MONEY RITUALS.
I was dating a married man since I was a teenager till two years back when I almost lost my life. The married man's wife tried so many times to break us up but it never happened.
He was my provider and I was his entertainment because he claimed to have been bought by his wife who was always ready for war.
On 2020 I fell pregntat in June and I was to give birth in 2021 March. I was so excited because the married man was fully present and supportive. I was spoiled and babied. I got everything I wanted, he even bought me a car. My excitement took over that I started bragging about my pregnancy on social media. I joined a group called "pregnant women support each other" on Facebook and I was a very active member. Apart from that I used to constantly update about my pregnancy journey on my social media. My boyfriend's wife found out and instead of me humbling myself I started boosting and showing off. That was the worst mistake that caused me my womb.
In 2021 in January I started having bad stomach pain. It went on for a couple of days till I somaar went to consult. The Doctor couldn't pick up the baby's heartbeat on the sonar. I was immediate transferred to a gynaecologist who also failed to pick up my baby's heartbeat. My cervix was still closed so I had to be admitted in the hospital. I was having a stillborn. The baby had been dead for a few weeks and had also scard my womb so bad that it had to be removed as well.
I was finding it hard to accept my situation. When everything was done my boyfriend also started distancing himself and not just that he was posting his wife and kids none stop. He stopped coming to see me and ignored my calls.
Everything was just going horrible for me. Everything I touched turned to ashes. So My mother took me to a traditional healer for cleansing because she believed that the only explanation for my badluck could be due to the baby I lost.
To our surprise the sangoma told us that pictures of my belly were used to end my baby's life. He was spot on with everything he said, he said an elderly lady who was in pain took my pictures to a sangoma. Pictures that she found on Facebook and some of which I sent to her. Yes,I sent her my pregnancy pictures with her husband holding my tummy when she confronted me so I boosted to her. The sangoma said the lady used my baby for her wealth ritual. She was now wealthy through my baby's soul which she sold. It made sense because she looked like someone who now had her own money and that may be the reason her husband decided to change on me.
I was heartbroken and bitter. But I bled on people who did not cut me and I now regret it because I see how much pain I have caused. I was still a part of the group on Facebook so what I did was to steal pregnant women posting their bellies asking for advices or even just bragging about how far they have come and they are ready to pop.
I went back to the sangoma and told him that I want to reverse the curse back to the sender. He instead gave me the number of another foreign sangoma who is from Lesotho who could help. I took the pictures of the pregnant mommies in the group and I was paid R5000 per pic. The Lesotho Sangoma said that she was selling the pictures to another Sangoma but I didn't ask much because all I wanted was for everyone to feel the pain I felt.
Not only that but I also took pictures of new born babies. In that group in 2021 and 2022 there was a lot of rest in peace being posted and because I was also hurting from my loss I found comfort in knowing I wasn't going through that pain alone.
When I took the pictures to the Sangoma he put solo tapes on the babies nose saying he is blocking them from breathing. And the pregnant mommies he tied a wool around the pictures and inserted the pictures in a 1.2L of coke bottle. So after he threw the bottle on the floor and while he is doing that he says the mother is also losing the pregnancy so we caused them miscarriages.
This year in January I came back to my senses and decided that I am evil and a horrible person for doing everything that I did to innocent babies that did nothing to me. According to the Sangoma he says there is so much power in the blood of babies. I regret ever adopting the darkness all because of pain. I became a witch just to run away from my own pain.
Nothing is happening to me as of yet and I have quit the dark life since January this year but my concience is killing me. Hence I have come on this platform to ask for forgiveness and to spread awareness about posting certain pictures on social media. People tend to take it lightly when they are told to never post sensitive issues on social media, I was one of them. I never believed that a picture could turn my life upside down. Now I am a woman who will never know the joy of bringing life into this world.
I however have since deactivated my Facebook and left the group. I have been getting psychological help and I have turned to God for comfort.
I even had the guts to face my ex boyfriend's wife and apologised. Not only did I apologise but I have confronted her and she told me that she will never forgive me yet she has forgiven her husband. I am not judging her though but I know that my sins has been forgiven by the most high. I am now in the process of adoption and I am looking forward to being a mother and giving love and hope to an unwanted child.
I know what I have done is unforgivable and beyond evil but I have forgiven myself to and I am learning to heal. May all the mother's I have hurt please find it in their heart to accept my apologies and forgive me. But I have however learned that forgiveness is a process and it takes time so I fully understand and once again I would like to say I am so so so sorry.
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