I don't sleep at night
Admin I'm going to be long
I'm 28 years,I love being alone at home they hate the way i behave im always at my room, i dnt have friends,i dont party i dont drink,my mom always shout at me saying i must loosen up and go out with my sister or cousins ,they gave up i cant they say im moody and strict.
2013 when I was doing matric I started dating that time I had friends but they dislike me,saying I'm not a full human being im not tswana I'm Indian because of my hair colour it was brown n gold i had the longest hair they were complaining about my eyebrows ,my hair ,body shape and my face especially my eyes mxm saying a human being can't be like this im too much they started spreading lies saying I'm river snake at school they knew I was the queen of the river.
During exam my friend offered me her lunch box eish beke ja tjoo I couldn't write that day I went home matlho a le botlhoko kesa bone sentle matlho atlala dikeledi hakere ke Bala Q paper on my way home I met this zcc guy he said "Dijo tsa chomi yago ketsone digoitseng"i didn't confront her ,2014 wen we receive our results i was shocked because I didn't write all the subjects because of my eyes.
I passed and she didn't .that day she went to sleep with my bf that's why i dont have friends until today i hate friends .and I was pregnant I gave birth but my baby boy was born with bowl and something like hard like rock btwn the neck and head when he turn 4years everything disappeared he stated to behave weird he likes playing alone it's he hates ppl .
When he turn 5 he sing songs you don't understand he dance sangomas song tjoo he can dance .at night he speaks but you can't hear any word he put string on his hand and feet even today he's doing that .Iast he was smoking snuif with my mom he's only 9years i try to talk to him tjo I can't beat kids last month he was screaming when I woke up he was crying saying there's someone standing at the door 🚪 I didn't see anything he keeps on pointing 👉 at the door.
I have this thing of dreaming and that dream becomes reality I remember when I was at college I had a dream being raped it happened .even if I tell you something it happens last year things got worse every night after 1midnight gonale phefo etlang ke utlwa okare e gaufi le face yaka im confused about this wind,now I ask mom to share bed with me because I'm scared usually when this wind start I wake her up she doesn't feel anything we will kneel down and pray .
One day I listen a pastor on radio talking about fasting I did that tjooo 😥ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ I pray 3times a day with candle 🕯 ke bone metlholo I was scared .last I had a dream helping this people they were cutting people's hands and neck.and the other one they took aloe and smear it on my hands and feets we were on fight I escaped they were trying to kill me .
When I try to pray ke sitwa mokotla I'm getting cold on my head and spinal cord I even cut out my hair because of this terrible headache I'm experiencing
Last week around 2 at night while I was sleeping this thing came out of nowhere saying I must do as it says I don't know what I must do im still confused .then I answer saying I can't ,on that time I felt like I was dying because I refused I struggle to breath I felt pain on my chest okare moya waka watswa mogonna.i begged to let me go I will do whatever it says.
I can't describe it but it's not human being since that night I'm experiencing health problems I have kidneys problems .my stomach has something moving inside im not pregnant at hospital they said it's ulcer .I have stroke attacks since maobane le headache everyday I cut my hair but still .my joints they are painful I have been in out hospital heart attack my urine is dark brown .I have 5months baby im breastfeeding her im afraid that she might experience my health problems .
Even now ketshasa vinegar im felling numbness i have cramps .I even stopped praying I have been praying for years God can't hear my prayers .my last prayer I ask God to heal me take away all my pain so that I can raise my kids to forgive me if I ever did something to anyone or him they must forgive me.kopa thuso gakeitse what's happening in my lifeðŸ˜
Any help please okare modimo le badimo Gaba mpone I hate praying whenever I kneel down I start to cry I no longer have words I can't pray I don't know what wrong I did in this world im even 30 I have more health problems
Social Plugin