I INSERTED A SNAKE IN MY ANUS AND MY LIFE CHANGED COMPLETELY.
So I worked at a mine in Rustenburg for a while as a general worker and I felt like the money wasn't enough. I was Just being ungrateful Because I was a qualified safety officer but have been struggling to get a job under my qualification for the longest time.
Until I decided that you know what? Any job is fine aslong as it will put bread on my table then it will be enough.
I was becoming suicidal because I felt like I was far behind all my age mates. It just seemed as though they were doing very well while I was suffering . I had depression and isolation syndrome. I didn't want to be around people.
I spent 90% of the time in my room hiding under the blankets. Day and night had swapped it's purposes for me. I'd sleep all day and when it was night time and everyone was sleeping I'd be up like it's normal.
Yes , I'd walk the streets at night like it was a normal thing to do. I really didn't care what time it would be I'd just take a walk even at the weirdest hours like 2am.
I was secretly hoping that someone would come and rob me and even take my life. I would walk around with my phone in my hand playing music. That way I was hoping to attract the dangerous people of the streets but nothing ever happened to me.
I'd walk sometimes from 1 am untill 4 am and I'd still return home unharmed. I had a death wish and just like all my wishes it too never materialised.
I lived with my mom,grand mom and my uncle and his family. My uncle was the last born of the my mom's siblings so rightfully the house is his inheritance.
I failed my mom , I begged her to take me to school to get the safety officer qualification and I promised her that I will get a job and build her a house and take very good care of her. But I failed so I felt very useless and embarrassed that I couldn't even buy my mom a stand let along build her dream house.
Anyway one day my grandmother took me to a sangoma because she was very worried about my night walks and also Koko and I were very close and now we were no longer close because we wouldn't spend time together as I'd always be sleeping.
Anyway the sangoma cleansed me using eggs,milk and salt. So he asked me to bring my cv the next day so that he can help me with being employable. I didn't believe in this things but I didn't want to upset my grandmother and raise her high blood so I just did as I was told.
The next day my grandmother and I went back there together and the sangoma performed some ritual on my cv and she told us to drop it off at the mine before going home. The mine wasn't even hiring at that time but again I just did as I was ordered.
Within two weeks we heard that a general worker was needed because one of the general workers had passed away. I was called for an interview and their test and I passed.
I got hired and boy was I not happy? I worked there and everything was fine until I started hearing voices in my head. This voices started a month after I started working. The voices would only stop if I took a night time walk. Actually I started of by sleep walking, I'd wake up halfway through the sleep walk and I'd be so scared because I wouldn't understand how I even got there.
The voices I'd hear were of a man crying and asking me "why it had to be his life I take for a mere job" but I couldn't make sense of it all so I never replied. it always felt like it was all in my head somehow.
This happened for sometime until I decided to seek help. The reason I seeked help was because I woke up twice in a weird place surrounded by roundavels and no one was there besides myself.
I had a house mate who was also weird. We shared a house so each time I got home from my sleep walk I'd find him in my room with a candle on and he would be on his knees behind my door. When I ask what he is doing there he would always say that he is there to pay revenge. Something that all took a long time for me to understand what he meant. I found him very weird.
The next morning we would both be too embarrassed to talk about it so we would avoid bumping into each other by all means. I went home when I was off and I told my grandmother about what was happening to me.
My grandmother took me to her sangoma again who told us that ngithwele and it's only a couple of weeks before my riches start coming but not to me. He said he can't help me and only a foreign sangoma could help.
We went home and I kept wondering how I could've thwala without my knowledge. Turns out that there are spirits that initiates you in your dreams all they need is your blood and sweats. My housemate did this to me. We used to have late night conversations while we are having drinks,he made me drunk so that he can inject my blood and also sweats. I woke up with bruises and injection pain on my arms one night after our drinking spree and he lied to me when I asked what had happened to be then he said I went to bed fine so he doesn't know what happened to my arms.Turns out he is related to the guy who passed away and I replaced. Apparently my housemate is spiritually gifted and he knew that I was involved in the passing of the guy.
At first I did not want to believe it but consulting at church was the best thing I ever did because they were very honest with me. The sangoma killed someone for me to get their position so my housemate is just retaliating for his cousin.
All the sleep walks and roundavels are real and they are part of my punishment. The sangoma lied the second time we went there. Yes he was right about one thing, ngithwele and the riches won't come to me. The riches are going straight to the man who's life I took and replaced at work.
The late man is somehow still feeding his family through me. I once had a horrible dream of myself at those roundavels, I was sitting with a very big snake in one of those roundavels and the snake could speak and we had a sound conversation.
In the end I saw myself taking the snake and shoving it in my behind and that's when I woke up because the pain felt so real. But luckily this time I wasn't sleep walking but my bedroom door was wide open and so was my curtain and window. I went to close the window and I saw candles burning outside my window and that scared me. I quickly closed the window and curtain and then my door and went back to bed.
In the morning when I woke up my tummy felt too full and my behind was in serious pain. I couldn't sit nor go to the toilet for number two let along walk properly.
I'd feel like I want to do number two but when I get to the toilet I would be constipated and I'd push until I'd see blood coming out instead of poo.
Now my stomach is growing day by day and it's so big that I look pregnant. I have seeked help and nothing seems to be working. Since I had a dream shoving the snake in my behind I have stopped sleep walking.
My house mate never fought but we now avoid each other by all means. We hardly even hold a conversation should we bump into each other it's always so awkward. These days all I ever crave is weird things such as rats and raw eggs. I buy 60 eggs every two weeks and I finish them all in two weeks.
As for rats I always eat the dead ones I come across on the streets. If I see them I can never pass them and this is embarrassing for me because I can no longer socialise with people anymore,I have even developed an unpleasant smell. I am no longer even enjoying my job because of all this. The sangoma just told me to bring my cv and I didn't know he was going to sacrifice someone for me to get the job. Now I am being punished and he won't even help me anymore.
I believe the snake is alive inside me and that's why my tummy keeps growing and also it's the only explanation as to why I crave raw eggs and rats not normal food.
I had to quit my job because honestly speaking I was suffering. I am back at home now and I am still struggling with a growing snake inside me that makes me have weird cravings. I even live with a shadow inside my closet in my room now. I have given up on getting rid of it but I have lost myself completely and I can't wait for the day I am no more.i
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