I am more than angry at the woman who gave birth to me. She has spent her whole life finding ways to humiliate and hurt me. Whatever my dad to her has made her hate me so much.
So my mom is someone who loves quick and easy money. She likes being spoonfed and so on. She loves money very much yet she's super lazy to work for it.
She adores and worship money and there's nothing she wouldn't do for the sake of money. So my mom is black and my dad is Indian. My dad owned a few tuckshops and my mom saw a way out of poverty in him.
But my dad was Just having fun with no strings attached. Apparently according to my grandmother my dad used to spoil my mom with gifts and money and she would take whatever she wanted from the spaza shops.
My mom knew she had to go an extra mile to keep that man so that she may continue living the life he provided. She decided to drop out of school and move in with him.
My grandparents Say they tried speaking sense into her head and she told them exactly where to get off calling them poor and how they are comfortable remaining poor. She told them not to include her in their very sad lives.
She only came back home about a year later pregnant with me. After my dad found out she was pregnant at 4months he then chased her out and told her to get rid of me.
According to my mom when she's angry she says she tried getting rid of me but I was stubborn so I survived and she hates me for that. I am so used to her painful words that I now pity her. My dad chased her out and after I was born he left the country and moved back to his home of origin. Apparently he has a wife and kids and that's why he got very angry when my mother fell pregnant. The guy was just looking for fun.
I don't have any kind of relationship with my mother,she hates me so much that not a day passes by without her reminding me how I ruined her life by being conceived.
I don't remember my mom ever being sober. She is always drunk and spends most of her times out with different men. If she's sober the she would never be in my sight,she would always avoid me. When drunk then she would be all over me insulting me.
My grandmother once told me never to accept anything to eat from my mother. That is because she has tried poisoning me a lot of times.
Anyway my grandmother passed away when I was in grade 11 and that's where my life became worse. It was now just my mother and I with no one to protect me or even defend me.
She made me drop out of school and the weirdest things started happening. She used to be so angry at me because I was not dating. She would say my looks are all just a waste because I remain poor. I had to make my mom happy. I started dating and she still wasn't happy.
She said I was dating young broke boys. I didn't understand what that meant until she started bringing me very old men home. My mom had a whole social media account with my name and she ran it. She had my inappropriate pics there and I was confused as to why people now looked at me different in the township.
I used to say no to taking inappropriate pictures but she would drug me and take pics. Apparently she would exchange them with men for money. My mom hated me that much. One day a very wealthy man whom she'd been talking to on the socials wanted to meet me. The guy came and my mom told me to agree to everything and just play along.
I was a relieved when it wasn't a man as old as my mom always brings. By that time I was 20 and he was 37. I was so used to my mom bringing men as old as 65 to the house. It was a huge relief that finally a man close to my age. He looked down to earth and very humble.
He treated me right, for the first time a man was interested in knowing me and not my body. All I ever wanted to do in the past was to please my mother and anything she said I would do. If I opposed her instructions then all hell would break lose.
So the guy and I went on a couple of dates then he said he wanted to marry me but before he marries me we would have to go on a week long vacation so that we get to know each other more and see if we are compatible.
We went away on that one week long vacation. It was fun but something was not adding up. He would always want us to get very drunk before bed time. I would get so drunk and pass out. The next day I'd wake up with a smell of fur all over and my "panzi" would be feeling numb while my abdomen was in serious pain.
I always thought maybe we have rough sex because we are always doing it drunk. The feeling wasn't nice and the vacation became a bit awkward. I did not want to marry him anymore because my body wasn't feeling nice anymore since I started sleeping with "him".
When we got home I told my mother I didn't want to marry the guy. I knew she would insult me but I felt the need to speak up and maybe I would be heard. Another thing about this guy is he had a nice phone but hated taking pictures. I have never owned a phone in my life but I wanted it and he said he would buy me one once we are married but whatever I do no taking pictures in his house nor around him.
I wanted a phone so bad because I wanted to understand what those other men meant when they said my profile is the sexiest thing on earth. Anyway my mother forced me to marry this guy because she didn't care about my health or my wellbeing. All she wanted was the benefits she was getting.
He didn't even want a ceremony or a wedding. He just paid an unnecessarily huge amount for lobola. He was still humble and sweet but the fact that he always wanted to get me drunk twice a week and I'd wake up with a sore body and the smell of wet fur really meant something was off.
I was getting skinier and my health was getting compromised. Yes I lived in a big mansion and drove nice cars,money was not at all a problem. My mother was also always demanding money and she was living the life she always wanted.
She was happy and I was miserable. One day after living with that man for over a year. I decided to act drunk and see how the night always ends because I never knew what happens after getting drunk.
Another thing is that the man is unemployed yet very rich. So I pretended to be drunk always then passed out. After a while I saw him wearing a black gown and burning some dry leaves and making me inhale the smoke while also walking around the room sparking the smoke in the room.
Then a very giant dog walked into the room and walked straight to me, I tried keeping calm but I was so scared and shivering. The dog walked towards me and it was ready to sleep with me. The wet fur smell filled the room the minute it walked up into the room. Just as it's 4/5 was about to come inside me I jumped up with so much fear and screamed. The dog just looked at me and walked away. It stopped infront of my husband who knelt Infront of it and he kept apologising. It walked passed him and he came to me and begged me to not share what I witnessed with anyone.
He begged me to just continue sleeping with the dog or else we would both become mad. I ran out of the house and never looked back. I don't care if he gets mad or me but I am never doing what he wants me to do. My periods became unbelievably heavy with very big clots and I'd get abdomen pains every now and then. I ran to a place of safety because I knew my mom would want to teach me a lesson for leaving the man.
I was taken to the hospital and that is where we discovered that my womb was tampered with. I have every reason to believe that my womb and sexual fluids were the sacrifices here.
I've been in the place of safety for over two years now and I haven't heard from both my mom and the man. I wish to never hear from them ever again. I am now in a different province and I can feel my health slowly getting back to better. I am at a better place. I live in a church shelter and prayer has been protecting me ever since I moved here. Ladies please becareful of this rich men who claim to be self employed yet you are never sure what they do. Sometimes you are the source of wealth.
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